Wednesday, April 29, 2009
Monday, April 27, 2009
But, as much as I hate the Red Sox, I loathe the Yankees. As a Cleveland-area native, you live and die by an extreme dislike for the weasels up north. (And I say weasels because they don't even have names on their stinkin' uniforms. Come on.)
So, with that said, when I saw one of my friends/residents - who is from north eastern Ohio - wearing a stinkin' Yankees T-shirt, I felt betrayed.
So, Aldawna, you've been shunned. Do yourself a favor and use that thing as a rag.
Well, ladies, gentlemen and Tula. It would appear that we have a winner for the bra busts contest. Lets all congratulate Jillian on having the most mortifying bra-related experience. Nice job, Jillian! I'm proud of you, honey. Now maybe you can buy a bra that, you know, fits.
Jillian will receive a $25 gift card to Macy's, courtesy of Macy's and its "Fit Matters" campaign.
Thanks to everyone who dished their dirt and those who voted.
If you missed Jillian's embarrassment, don't worry. You can relive her nightmare over, and over and over again: here.
Thursday, April 23, 2009
I'm always picking on women. It's way easier. Seriously.
Today, my friend and news reporter Ariel hooked me up with a picture of a dude she saw grocery shopping in our local Kroger.
I'm all for a bright shoe, but, seriously, there is something about this shoe and shorts combo that isn't working for me.
What do you guys think about these bright kicks and neutral, well, everything else?
Send all questionable campus fashion posts to firstname.lastname@example.org!
Wednesday, April 22, 2009
Anyway, I wonder if she knows her bra is missing? If you see a girl with floppy/saggy/misplaced breasts, let her know that Steph found her bra.
People are all over this questionable campus fashion thing. I love it. Keep it coming, folks. Send all submissions to email@example.com.
I logged into my Gmail account this morning and was greeted with a reader-provided snapshot of some questionable campus fashion.
I present to you, dear readers, courtesy of Raven Nelson, the Jheri curl mullet:
I would go so far to say that this isn't even a matter of being questionable, but falls right into being a problem. Mullets, Jheri curl mullets at that, should never have been acceptable. My younger brother, Kevyn, had a mullet growing up. Those pictures don't see much daylight. (How curious that is...)
That said, however, some of you might remember - especially if you followed my old blog from last summer, Donotdrinkme, my experience with a Jheri curl...
Oh, Alabama. I will always remember you with such interesting memories. (Please don't hold this against me.)
Send any questionable campus fashion sightings to firstname.lastname@example.org.
Tuesday, April 21, 2009
Not only did I spot this last night in Stadium View, but Jillian also snapped a shot. What does that say about the campus fashion oddity? Hmm... What we have here, my friends, is a girl who has performed some reconstructive surgery on her Cincinnati Bearcats T-shirt so that it exposes her entire white sports bra. In the photos she's wearing a purple zip-up hoodie; she most definitely put that on right before she was about to leave. We all got an eye full.
As always, if you spot a questionable campus fashion statement snap a photo and e-mail it to me at email@example.com.
Monday, April 20, 2009
It was a delight[?] when I receive this message this morning: A girl on campus wearing, of course, leggings as pants. Behold:
I should really keep tally of how often I say this, but, leggings are not pants. Leggings have never been pants. They will never be pants. Please stop wearing them as pants so I can stop saying this. I'm starting to annoy myself. Except, well, you annoy me more.
As always, if you spot something questionable on campus, hit me up. Send me an e-mail with your photos to firstname.lastname@example.org.
Sunday, April 19, 2009
I had to run across campus today to pick up a flash drive from my good pal Sam. On my way back to The News Record from Daniel's Hall (for those familiar with the University of Cincinnati campus you know what I'm talking about) I ran across a sopping wet corset lying on the sidewalk. The surprise wasn't that it was soaking wet - it had been raining all day - but why was some girls' corset lying on the sidewalk? Was someone running around naked this weekend? Very interesting.
Knowing that Jillian was going to be working after class, I gave her a more of a "teacher" look. I picked a spring dress, knowing that the weather was going to be nice. I picked a plain white T-shirt for underneath because it was a little too revealing. Because of the short length, leggings were also a must. I also thought the dress would go better with flats instead of high heels. Overall I thought it was a youthful look for Jillian.
One night I was babysitting for a couple with 3 kids, their ages 8, 5, and 2. The youngest was a girl, and the two older were boys. Apparently their family talks about body parts at a very early age, because while I was playing with the girl she grabbed my chest and said, my mommy has these. Are you a mommy too? And proceeded to tug on my boob, putting just the right amount of strain on the clasp for my bra to pop off and the metal to bend. The older boys laughed at me as I tried to get the girl off my chest to try and fix my bra. I spent a ridiculous amount of time in the bathroom, until I finally gave up and just took off my bra until the parents got home. Of course, the childrens first announcement to the parents was, Danessa's chest thingy came off and she can't fix it! It's been almost 8 years, and those boys still remind me every time I see them...
Friday, April 17, 2009
Well, we promised each other to try to take turns making visits on the weekends. When September rolled around, I was eager to visit my beau in Cincy so I planned a high-end and classy voyage on the Greyhound bus.
After waiting a few hours in the depot, I eagerly boarded my (LATE) Greyhound. Before I made it to my seat, I noticed a very strange sensation coming from under my shirt. I suddenly felt...unsupported. I desperately tried to think of what could have happened, as I was surrounded by people and could not check things out for myself.
I then remembered I was wearing a new bra, one with an adjustable clip in the front for added cleavage. After all, I was about to visit my boyfriend. I guess something went hay-wire (perhaps I tried to amp up the girls too much?) and the clip popped off.
After I set my baggage on my seat, I ran to the restroom on the back of the bus. Occupied. I waited outside the door for several minutes. Nothing. Assuming someone had died in the restroom, I retreated to my seat as the bus was leaving the station.
A few miles out of downtown Chicago, a man emerged from the restroom and I hurried back in. Well, nobody died in there but it sure smelled like it. I tried to hold my breath as long as possible as I checked out what kind of trauma my bra had gone through. Sure enough, that little clip was no where to be found and I was left with an open-faced brassier.
While I'm no MacGyver, I was able to salvage my bra. I took my hair down and used my hair tie to finagle a new clasp. The cleavage wasn't as kickin', but at least I had something. I exited the restroom, gasping for breath. Hopefully no one thought that stank had come from me.
I think the saddest part about this story is that two-and-a-half years later I STILL have the bra in my possession. It is worn only in emergency laundry crises. Bras are expensive, man.
Thursday, April 16, 2009
I don't get it. I think black is completely acceptable with brown and navy. I think white after Labor day is a great idea. I also stand firm when I say that matching your shoes to your bag is a philosophy that was over in, like, the 50s.
The rules are meant to be broken, baby. For the hellian in you, here are some rules worth breaking:
1) No black with brown or navy.
Seriously, who came up with this? Black, brown and navy are three of my favorite colors separately, but, more importantly, they make up some of my favorite color combinations. There’s nothing quite as chic as an all-black ensemble with brown boots. Here’s why it works: All three colors are neutrals. Makes sense, right?
After catching some flak for mixing black and brown in an outfit featured on this blog - during 'no-pants week' I put together a point-by-point analysis on why the two are an excellent match.
Some wise women agreed that black and brown is the way to go.
Some, who were naysayers to start, had seen the light.
“No, no, no, no! It hurts my eyes!” said Thrice, another blogger. “OK, so I previously said I don't like mixing black and brown; you've shown me I can do it and look good … So I won't ever scold anybody for mixing those colors, but I won't wear them together either.”
2) No white after Labor Day.
False. False, false, false. This is probably one of the most outdated “rules” but still one of the most widely accepted. In warmer months it’s easy to subscribe to wearing white because it’s cool, bright and fresh – all words that one might associate with spring and summer. But, when you’re stuck in a rut next winter – pulling only navy, gray and black from your closet – a burst of white could actually do some good.
It’s definitely mixing it up, which is positive itself, but the constant stream of dark colors can start to take a toll on a person’s mood. It’s a correlation to seasonal depression which affects most people one way or another. People need fresh, crisp and bright colors in the winter months more than ever to lift their spirits.
3) You should always match your shoes to your handbag.
Admittedly, this may be a fashion don’t that isn’t actually done, but, regardless, it’s still something you might hear from mom or grandma if they don’t know any better.
This is kind of domestic 1950s housewife-esque. Sure, it could be a great excuse for buying new shoes and new bags every 30 seconds, but, unless you’re Oprah, who has the money for that? Instead of matching bags and shoes it would actually better to pull out accent colors. For example, if you’re wearing a blue floral shirt with small red dots at the center of each flower, play up the red. Wear red shoes, carry a red bag or find a belt to match. Not only will it make the red pop, but the outfit will look more complete.
4) Your underwear should match your bra or your underwear should match your T-shirt.
I kid you not, in highschool the girls in my class - Wadsworth, 2006 - would literally have entire conversations about their undewear and whether or not they were able to match it to their T-shirt of the day. You'd have the totally popular girls who, sometimes didn't have conversations to let you know their panties matched their top - you pretty much got an eyeful that would tell you everything you didn't want to know. I have no idea who or where this originated, or why anyone ever thought this would be a good idea. How many of you have a bra with a pair of underwear that matches? And, if you do, it's probably not on accident - you likely picked it out with a purpose in mind. Am I right? In theory, on a daily basis, how many people are going to see your bra and underwear to make sure they match. And, if, someone is seeing your under garments every day, do you really think they care enough to pay attention..?
5) The length of your jacket must match the length of your skirt or dress.
Imagine walking around in a jacket that is just, perhaps, a little bit longer than your skirt. Your jacket is all buttoned and tied. People start looking at you funny, but you can't figure out what's wrong. isn't this right? Didn't Mama always tell you how to dress? Well, did you ever think that what Mama was telling you wasn't right? God knows that when she told you Santa wasn't real you refused to believe that so why trust her awful rules of style? It's not that people are probably nitpicking about your outfit if you're jacket and skirt are equal lengths. Nope, nope, nope.
My guess: You look like a flasher. You'll especially look like a flasher if you're wearing a low-cut dress or sweater. Awesome: a fashion victim and a decency perpetrator. Quite the resume.
6) Don’t mix metals.
I used to work in a jewelry store. I cannot tell you how often I hear this. People are more passionate about this stupid, stupid rule than they are Jesus. Seriously. This is so archaic. Mixing gold and white gold or gold and silver is completely acceptable; in fact, I believe in it so much that I do it on an almost daily basis. I love to mix my bracelets, my rings. Mixing gives an outfit greater depth and contrast. Don’t be afraid, it doesn’t look bad. They don’t make two-tone gold for no reason, you know.
7) No leather or suede in the winter.
If you look closely at my header photo you’ll see that I vehemently disagree with this. Not only am I wearing a 100 percent leather vest, and not only is it summer, but the photo was taken in Alabama last summer. Talk about hot.
I think the idea behind the no leather, no suede rule is based on fabric weights, but if you choose pieces carefully and in moderation they can certainly work. Obviously if it’s summer and you can’t wait to wear a leather jacket with some leather pants you’re going to look like an asshole. (I don’t think a change in season would fix that.)
What am I missing? What are some fashion rules that were made to be broken?